A Midsummer Night's Otter Pop
by AmethystIris628
Summary: When the Marauders decide to visit a muggle resort in the states, what kind of havoc will they wreak upon it? Based on a true story!
1. Meeting Jake

A/N: Yes, this story is based upon true events. My own personal experiences to be exact.

Disclaimer: I own the plot setting, and minor characters. The four marauders belong to J.K. Rowling.

The sun rose from behind the crimson canyon wall and poured into the window of the Marauder's cabin. James opened his eyes and, without waking the other three, stepped outside to shake away the remnants of sleep still clinging to his eyes.

Other than where he and his friends stayed, the chasm was a dark burgundy, making the walls appear almost fake against the sapphire sky. The lake in front of him was calm except for when the occasional Jet Ski or speed boat marred the surface with a streak of white foam. The Sun Lakes Resort itself was a crisscross of cracked roads, trees with peculiar white trunks and emerald green lawns that made your feet itch. Dotted along the pavement were a series of cabins, motor homes, duplex cabins, tents, and trailers, each equally run down.

The four of the friends were looking for something to break the usual monotony of summer. They had gone to a muggle resort to wreak a bit of havoc and have a bit of a vacation away from England. Their parents had allowed them to go by themselves because they had finally come of age, and they wanted them to learn some responsibility. They weren't sure exactly where in the U.S. they were, but they knew it was somewhere near the west coast. Within three hours on a broom, at any rate.

A snap of a twig made James leap into the air, but he simply found that Sirius had toddled out sleepily.

"S-S-So what are we doing today?" he asked while stifling a huge yawn.

"Pff I don't know. Why is it that I'm always the one that's supposed to have the answers?" James asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Be…cause I'm too irresponsible to take initiative?" Sirius said with a sly grin. James chuckled and followed him back inside. They found Remus up and making bowls of Corn Flakes, while Peter was still snoring in bed. Sirius placed a finger to his lips, and made his way over to the side of Peter's bed. He raised his hand and smacked Peter's bottom as hard as he could. When he still didn't move, Sirius jumped on him.

"Peter..wake up. Wake up Peter! Peter! Puleeaase.." Sirius whined, bouncing on Peter's back as he spoke. Peter raised his hand and punched Sirius as hard as he could in the middle of the back. Sirius lurched forward, but didn't move from his position. "Ow! You lousy piece of blubber! Get up!"

"Get off Sirius! You're making me miss my beauty sleep.." Peter said, still not raising his head.

"Trust me, Wormtail, it won't help you much," James said with a smirk.

"Besides, if you're up before noon, we can go get a Belgian waffle at the concession stand," Remus said, putting the bowls on the table.

Peter jumped out of bed, almost knocking Sirius to the floor. They all ate their food as fast as they could, (Peter was done five minutes before the others) dressed quickly, and walked up to the stand. Peter bought his Belgian waffle and an Italian soda, Remus got a snow cone, Sirius, a corn dog, and James, a chocolate milkshake. They sat at a table, brainstorming what they should do for the day.

"Why don't we jinx muggles while their backs are turned and watch them freak out?" Sirius suggested.

"Nah, we did that yesterday. I say we go out on one of those paggleboats," James said, gesturing towards the small dock near the parking area.

"You mean paddleboats?" Remus asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Whatever. Paddle, paggle. I don't see any difference," James said, slurping his milkshake moodily.

"Why don't we just sit in the cabin and eat?" Peter said hopefully. He quickly lowered his gaze when the others glared.

"Well I say we try and meet some new people," Remus said quietly.

"That's the stupidest, most idiotic, dimwitted," Sirius began.

"Brilliant thing I've heard all day!" James said, his eyes the size of galleons.

"I was GETTING to that!" Sirius cried and stuffed the rest of his corn dog into his mouth.

They then began to stroll down the pavement, each one trying their own tactic to meet some new friends. When jinxing, tripping, yelling, singing, dancing, and hugging didn't work, they decided to brainstorm.

By now the canyon was heating up like a furnace, the temperature was 99 degrees Fahrenheit even in the tree sheltered and mist filled resort. So they headed for the safety of the cool interior of their cabin. James reached into the fridge and passed out otter pops, a muggle treat they had grown quite fond of.

"I don't know why my method didn't work!" Sirius said, pouting.

"Well, I don't think making that guy cry really made a good impression.." Remus said, grinning.

"Why shouldn't it have? It was a friendly curse!" Sirius said indignantly.

Remus shook his head and stared at James. "And I thought Peter was the pig here."

"Hey!" Peter cried, biting his otter pop viciously.

"What? What's wrong with having three at a time?" James asked.

"The fact that you've got about five hundred more sitting in a pile," Sirius said, grinning.

"I like them mushy," James said matter-of-factly.

"Sure," Remus said, laughing. "Hey! Look out there! That looks like a likely suspect," He yelled, pointing out the window. Sitting at a table, there was a dark haired boy, about Remus' height, wearing a pair of swimming trunks and a white tank top. He was shuffling a deck of cards, and a girl across the lawn was eyeing him interestedly.

Before he had even finished his sentence, the other three were out the door and sitting with him. Remus followed them and flopped into a seat across from the boy, who looked quite flustered by all the attention.

"What do you guys want?" he asked rudely.

"Only to gaze deep into your eyes..do you mind if we hold hands?" Sirius said, trying to grasp the boy's hand. Remus nudged him hard in the ribs. The boy was looking disgusted.

"I'm sorry about him; he hasn't taken his medication this morning. I'm James, this is Sirius, that there is Remus, and this lump is Peter," James said, pointing to the others as he named them. Both Sirius and Peter were giving him death glares, so he continued. "Well they're all good guys, so do you want to go and do tut-tut or whatever they call it?"

"You mean put-put?" The boy asked.

"That's what I said," James said resentfully.

"Look, I really can't do anything now, I'm running an errand for my mom," he said, trying to stand up.

"You didn't look like it five minutes ago!" Peter said, staring at him.

"Well you guys just reminded me, so if you don't mind.." he said, standing up to leave.

"Okay, but before you go, you haven't told us your name," Remus said politely. The boy looked as though this question was quite intrusive before answering. "Jake, Jake Lyons."

Then he walked away, and when he reached the road, he began to run towards the trailers at the back of the park.

"That guy was weird, he didn't seem to like us," Remus said pensively.

"Oh gee, what clued you in on that?" James said sarcastically.

"That's impossible; no human on earth couldn't possibly not like us!" Sirius cried.

"What about Snape?" Remus asked slyly.

"My point exactly, Moony,' Sirius said smirking.

"Maybe he's an alien.." Peter said, his eyes wide and fearful.

"Peter, if you got any thicker you'd have to drown yourself in the lake," Remus said.

"No, Peter's got something. He definitely didn't sound or look human to me," James said, stroking his chin contemplatively.

"A mystery! Let us investigate!" Sirius shouted, leaping to his feet. In a minute he was sprinting down the lane after Jake, James and Remus close behind, and Peter at the rear, panting and wheezing.


	2. RETARD ALERT!

"I can't believe he just slammed the door in our faces! I mean, I could understand you three, but we had something special between us!" Sirius cried as they entered the cabin. They began to pull on their swim shorts for a dip in the lake. "Didn't you see the way he looked at me? It was pure adoration."

"Looked more like a fiery hatred with the burning passion of a thousand suns to me," James said, tying the string to his shorts.

"Well it's confirmed that he's an alien. No one can turn me down, just look at this sexy body!" Sirius began to strike a number of poses, grunting as he did so.

Remus poked him hard in the stomach, making Sirius clutch his abdomen. Peter giggled.

"Don't make me hex you, Wormtail," Sirius growled menacingly. Peter whimpered and sprinted out the door.

"Poor excuse for a Gryffindor.." Remus muttered, but grabbed a towel and followed him outside.

They jumped into the water and paddled around, except for Peter, who was dangling his feet over the edge of the dock. James and Remus yanked him into the water and dunked him underneath.

"Ah! I can't be swimming! You're supposed to wait a half an hour after eating before going in the water!" He squealed, scrambling for the shore.

"Come on Wormtail, stop being such a wimp! You're not going to die," Sirius said exasperatedly.

"Hey guys..I do believe Mr. Lyons has returned.." James said with a smirk, pointing.

Sirius clambered out of the water, sprinted across the lawn, and pulled Jake into a tight hug.

"What the-get off me you psycho!" he yelled, trying to push Sirius away.

"Oh it's SO good to see you again, my dear! I thought you'd never come back to me!" Sirius squeaked.

"You queer! Go away!" Jake said angrily.

"There's a little bit of homosexuality inside us all, Jake. You just have to dig deep inside and find it!" Sirius said, finally pulling away.

"Look at how wet I am because of you! Don't ever talk to me again; you are the stupidest person I've ever met!" Jake shouted and began to storm off angrily.

Sirius looked slightly wrong footed. "Wait! I thought we had something together!" he yelled after Jake. The other three walked up, towels wrapped tightly around their waists. "Oh that settles it, that kid is SO an alien.." he said crossly.

"I thought we had already decided that," Remus said smirking.

"Yeah, but Padfoot's so obsessed with himself he doesn't listen to us, Moony old boy," James said, shaking his head slightly.

"Hey, there's a girl over there, guys. Why don't we go and make friends with her?" Peter asked, pointing rudely. The girl had startling blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a perfectly shaped body. The only imperfection she had was that she was about 4'9.

James' eyes lit up immediately, and he ran his fingers through his hair. But before he had even taken a step, Sirius was already over, introducing himself.

"Why hello there my dear, may I say you're looking lovely today," he said, taking her hand gracefully and kissing it. She giggled and blushed.

James had by now made his way over, and bumped Sirius out of the way and onto the ground. "Please excuse my friend, miss. He's not all there, if you know what I mean," He said, winking. She simply smiled.

"Oh my goodness, you sure are cute! What is your name?" She asked with a small squeak. Sirius and James began to speak, but then they noticed she was gazing at Remus, who looked rather taken aback.

"Urm, Remus Lupin," he said. He seemed unsure of what he was saying. James and Sirius sniggered.

"Well I'm Adrienne Martin, and it's a pleasure to meet you," she said, beaming.

"The pleasure's all mine. These are my friends, Sirius, James, and Peter," he said, gesturing towards them. She nodded at each, and turned back to Remus.

"So, where's your cabin?" She asked.

"Right over there, number seven. You can drop by any time you like," he said pointing to the opposite side of the lawn.

"Thanks, I've got to go now. I'll see you guys later?" she said, taking a few steps away and turning back.

"Sure!" James said, waving. She grinned and turned away, her hair shining in the sun.

Later that day, they were sitting in the cabin, sucking on their otter pops, and listening to one of Sirius' peculiar stories while Remus was in the shower. Suddenly, he jumped onto the fridge and yelled out, "I have an idea!" He beckoned James and Peter closer and began to explain in full just what they would do to Remus once he had emerged from the shower. A moment later, they heard the water stop and they scrambled onto the largest bed, sitting on their knees, almost shaking with excitement.

A moment later, Remus emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his head. "RETARD ALERT!! WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!!!" The three of them shouted, spinning their fingers in front of their foreheads like a siren. Remus jumped back and looked in shock. The three burst out laughing and began to roll around, tears streaming from their eyes.

"That was NOT FUNNY!" Remus bellowed, clutching his chest. The others kept laughing. "You could have given me a heart attack!!" More laughing. "All right fine, keep laughing, I'll just have to curse you.." he pulled out his wand.

James, who was perfectly aware of just what Remus could do, sprinted out of the cabin and leapt on one of the bikes on their small patio. Little did he know, it was Remus'

"Come back here, James!" he yelled, following him out the door. However, James kept riding without looking back. Remus dashed after him. "Give me back my bike!"

Seeing no other options, James rolled onto the dock, Remus hot in pursuit. He couldn't make the turn fast enough, so with a bump and a squeal, James went toppling into the lake, bicycle and all. Remus stopped at the edge of the dock, his mouth wide open.

"Ah! That was quite refreshing!" James said, shaking the water out of his hair.

"You rode my bike into the LAKE?!?" Remus shrieked. His eyes were popping out of their sockets. James had never seen Remus freak out like this.

"Calm down Moony old boy. It's not like the thing hasn't been wet before. Watch this," he said, and wheeled the bike out of the lake. "See? No harm done."

"What if it rusts? Hmmm? Then what?" Remus said, yanking the bike out of James' grasp.

"Then use a scouring charm, retard. It's not that difficult," James said, rolling his eyes.

"It had better not be broken, that's all I've got to say.." Remus said huffily, and wheeled it back to the patio.

They found Sirius hunched over the table, banging his fist on it, and Peter trying to laugh while eating an otter pop.

"That has got to be the best thing I've seen all year," Sirius said, gasping for air. "Just woo! Right off the dock! I didn't think you had the balls, Prongs."

"You mean the idiocy. That was the stupidest thing you've done. Including Christmas third year," Remus said. He still looked quite angry about the whole thing.

"Why, what happened Christmas third year?" James asked curiously.

"Flying shoe, exploding cake, don't you remember?"

"Umm..yeah, no."

"Oh, never mind then."

They were interrupted by a gagging noise coming from the corner. Peter was choking on his otter pop. He had tried to stuff half of it down his throat. Sirius went over and, with a wave of his wand, cleared it up.

"Honestly Wormtail. If you get any dumber, we're going to have to get you a helmet," he said, grinning.

"Oooh! Can it be pink and have flames on the side?!?" Peter asked excitedly, clapping his hands.

"Sure.." Sirius said uncertainly.

"And I thought Padfoot was the gay one around here," Remus said, reaching in the fridge for a soda.

"No no no, Moony, not gay, bi. There's a big difference," Sirius said, waggling his finger annoyingly.


End file.
